Where to meet women as an introvert
I have met women in loud bars and clubs. But by far most of my success has come from quieter venues. I tend to prefer those places because I can be more low-key, lower-energy and I can have an actual conversation with the girl and get to know her. It is much easier to have a laid back vibe and not try too hard.
Here are some very good places for introverts to meet girls:
1. Cafes and coffee shops
These are very introvert-friendly environments while still being pretty social. I’ve had lots of great conversations in neighborhood coffee houses while working on my computer. There’s often a lot of hot girls, and they are alone and much easier to talk to than in a bar.
2. Art galleries and museums
Perfect for the artistic and/or enlightened chick. These venues are also filled with easy conversation topics. Just ask her opinion about the painting or sculpture. In a big museum like the Metropolitan Museum of Art, you can also ask if she knows directions to a specific exhibition or section.
3. Public parks
Very laid-back atmosphere with lots of people. It’s also quiet, so you can have a real conversation with her in a low-pressure environment.
4. Stores, shops and markets
Clothing stores, farmer’s markets, ice cream and frozen yogurt shops, gift card stores, and so on. Pay special attention to small unique stores that sell interesting items like souvenirs, jewelry or local clothing boutiques. They will give you endless conversation topics. And everyone is browsing at a low speed, just taking it all in. They are there to explore, not to get in, buy something, and get out. So it’s a good energy.
5. Grocery stores/ supermarkets
Everybody has to buy food, so you will find lots of people here. Openers are everywhere, from directions to the frozen food section, to the content of her basket, to asking her opinion about what to make for dinner, etc.
6. Private parties
Assuming you have a good social circle, this is an ideal place to meet women. Social circle game is the best game, in terms of efficiency. You get the greatest results for the amount of approaches you do. A birthday party, sports party (like the Super Bowl), holiday party or other party hosted by mutual friends is a great place for an introvert to have solid conversations with women in a very relaxed and low-pressure atmosphere. And women are much more receptive because you are a part of their social circle.
7. Early evening bars and lounges
This is night game for those who aren’t interested in a loud, high-energy atmosphere. Figure out how things are in your city. Here in New York on the weekends, most lounges and bars start seeing people around 9 pm. Usually around 11 pm, the DJ turns up the volume and a high-energy, super crowded, dance party vibe takes over for the rest of the night.
So there is a window of one to two hours early in the evening, where you can have conversations with lots of girls, it’s not too crowded, good energy but not too high energy, and nobody is drunk yet. That said, there are obviously many types of venues with different schedules. Your niche may be dive bars, high-end bars, sports bars, college bars, ethnic bars or something else depending on your personality and the kind of girls you want to meet.
8. Social clubs and groups
A great option to meet new people generally, not just hot girls. These give you endless conversation topics because there is a clear reason why the group is getting together. Join clubs and groups about anything you are interested in, from computer programming to soccer to Medieval art to sales and marketing. You should be pursuing things you enjoy doing in your free time anyway, to live a more robust and fulfilled life, which makes you inherently more attractive.
9. Gyms and recreation centers
Another low-pressure place to meet women who have similar interests, and where you can have a decent conversation. Anywhere with tennis, basketball, swimming pools, squash, treadmills, stair-masters (always a female favorite) is great.
10. Libraries and bookstores
Classic introvert locations, quiet and intellectual. You are surrounded by great conversation topics, and it’s very easy if she is looking at a book in a section that appeals to you. If you have a good connection, many bookstores also have a cafe, which is perfect for an instant date.
Meet women in low-key environments
In many of these venues, women tend to be alone, easy to talk to, and with their guard down.
These are some of the biggest obstacles that men encounter when trying to meet women in high-octane night game: the woman is surrounded by her friends (often eager to cock block guys), hard to talk to because she can’t hear anything you say, and she has her guard up because she’s being approached by men all over the place.
Approaching in a quieter environment lets you be more laid back and less eager. You don’t have to try as hard to get or keep her attention. You keep a higher value, and a more confident and aloof vibe.
Keeping your value, living your life
Meeting girls in more “normal” venues is something you don’t have to go out of your way to do. You can do it in the course of your daily life. So you aren’t “a guy out to meet girls.” You’re a guy who is just living his life, but bold and confident enough to meet a new girl too.