Women tend to attach more value to sex than men. Women also become more attached to a man after sleeping with him, than vice versa. Why is this? It turns out there is a biological basis for greater feelings of attachment and commitment in women after sex. The hormone oxytocin is released during sex and orgasm in both men and women. This hormone functions to increase trust, make us feel more connected and reduce stress. Oxytocin is experienced differently by men and women, however:
“Oxytocin seems to have been ‘designed’ by nature to make a man and woman feel bonded after sex, so they would stay together and raise children,” she says. “Today, the physiology of men and women still plays out according to this pattern. But estrogen seems to increase the calming and bonding effects of oxytocin, while testosterone seems to mute them. That’s why women tend to feel more attached after sex than men do.”
Oxytocin is also released by the body from simple physical touch. This helps to explain why physical escalation is such an important part of seduction. Simply increasing the amount of physical closeness, and physical touching, in your game has the potential to explode your results with dates and sex. Guys who require 3, 4, 5 or more dates before sex becomes possible are usually not doing enough physical touching.
The fact that women get more attached after sex is one of the biggest reasons why they hesitate before sleeping with a new guy, even if they want to. Most women have had experiences where they slept with a guy, had feelings for him and felt connected to him, but then had him break up soon after or even just disappear. After one or two of these emotional trauma experiences, a woman will realize just how affected she is by sex, and she will be careful about sleeping with a new guy, even if she is very attracted to him.
Women will look for a man to be emotionally available and open, as this gives her an indication that he will still be “around” emotionally after sex. This is why it’s so important for you to convey honesty and genuineness when dealing with women. It’s not just for having clear communication and clear expectations on all sides. For a girl you like and want to spend more time with, it’s also for sending a signal that you will still like her and want to be with her after sex.