You do NOT have a right to sex

You do not have a right to sex. A “right” means a claim that someone has on someone else. For instance, you have a right to be physically safe: others must respect your right to physical safety and cannot harm you. Their freedom is limited because of your right.

Sex, like countless other things in life that we want, is a privilege, not a right. If you want to have sex, you need to earn it. You earn it by becoming a more attractive man and the kind of person that women want to have sex with.

Why is this important? Isn’t it obvious? No. It’s important precisely because it’s not obvious to many men. There are men who whine and complain about not getting laid. They complain that “the women here are bitches” who won’t give him the time of day. They say that “women only want X” where you can fill in the blank with whatever hobbyhorse strikes your fancy–money, looks, cars, mansions, fame, muscles, assholes, jocks, bad boys, the list goes on and on and on.

Without saying it outright, they seem to believe, somewhere inside, that they are entitled to getting laid. Well, wake up and smell the celibacy: women don’t owe you shit. Just because you really, really, really, really want it doesn’t mean anything. Women don’t owe you shit. Are some women idiots? Bitches? Gold diggers? Wouldn’t know a good guy if he fell into her lap? Definitely. No question. So you can either get upset and emotional about how some women are idiots, beautiful creatures who don’t “appreciate” the amazingness that is you… or you can work to change what you can.

Put another way, do you “owe” sex or a relationship to an ugly girl with a terrible personality? Would any of these whining and complaining men ever be down for that? Hell no! But what if she wants to get laid? What if she really, really, really, really likes you? Those same guys complaining about how tough it is to get laid would be the first to say “my body, my rules.”

There have been periods in my life where I could not get laid in a brothel. But never once did I ever think there was something wrong with “women” in general. The onus was on me to improve myself and become more attractive and desirable. And to learn how dating and mating works so that I could get what I wanted.

Getting laid is a privilege. Sex is a reward given to you by the universe for putting in the time and effort into bettering yourself. Sex with someone you desire is earned through achieving something. And the more sexual options you want, the more you need to achieve. That work can come in many forms: it could be creating a hit single; it could be building a corporate empire; it could be doing 10,000 street approaches.

We live in a competitive world. Everybody wants something. Everybody is trying to get their piece of the pie. There are men in this world who are getting off their ass and striving to get what they want. They’re taking it from the world, not expecting the world to give it to them. How about you?

 

21 thoughts on “You do NOT have a right to sex

  1. THANK YOU!
    Women aren’t as bitchy and superficial as they think they are.
    Just like men aren’t as superficial and dumb as the bitter women who can’t get a date like to say they are. They just don’t wanna work on themselves or on making their lives better.

    • Like anything else in life, it’s easier to play the victim or to point to a simple explanation as the reason why you’re not getting what you want.

      It’s also ridiculous that men who think this way are so obsessively fixated on sex, when if they put a fraction of that energy into some other, more productive, pursuit, they would be much happier.

  2. Sorry, but this is a really weird argument. The guys that complain/whine whatever you say about not getting laid, are not complaining that they don’t get sex, at least not in a technical sense. If all it was, was sex, a guy could log onto a number of sites and get that very quickly, for the right price.

    What the “whiners” want, is for a woman to WANT to have sex with them, on her own volition.

    No one owes anyone anything, the frustration comes from TRYING to be the attractive man that women WANT to have sex with, and coming up short repeatedly, because the definition of “an attractive man” is shiftless, ethereal, and vague at best.

    Some things like you say are beyond ones control, ie, skin color, height, wealth (sure there’s some mobility on this, but someone born into a sh*t load of wealth is likely to have it in his own life)

    Simply stating one’s frustration and pointing out inherent disadvantages in the “game” as you call it, is not saying the world “owes” you anything, what the world does owe everyone, is an equal shot at happiness and satisfaction. See that? an equal SHOT. a CHANCE to be successful.

    • Yeah I’m talking about sex with women who are attracted to you; “desire” if you prefer.

      Frustration is understandable. We can be frustrated with many things. Frustration and failure are part of life. There is no way around them. As I discussed recently here, successful people simply accept the fact that life sucks sometimes, and act anyway. Unsuccessful people tend to dwell on the hardships or actively avoid them because they want to avoid failure more than they want to succeed.

      What makes a man attractive is complex and can vary significantly depending on the woman and the circumstances. Which is why if a guy wants to “become more attractive,” it will benefit him greatly to figure out what kind of girl he’s after, where he likes to spend time, his own personality and preferences and so on. This will focus his efforts more efficiently. Nevertheless, there are certain attraction universals that almost everyone agrees on.

      I’m not talking about guys who experience natural frustration, which is a perfectly normal emotion. I’m talking about guys who take it to the next level and think people owe them stuff.

      “…an equal SHOT. a CHANCE to be successful.”

      Indeed. I couldn’t agree more.

      • “I’m talking about guys who take it to the next level and think people owe them stuff.”

        No one thinks that, at least not a significant enough population to warrant a post about it. Maybe some sociopaths do, but the key here is that men want a woman to WANT to have sex with them because they are attracted to HIM, not because they “owe them stuff” In other words, this statement of yours is off the mark:

        “No. It’s important precisely because it’s not obvious to many men. There are men who whine and complain about not getting laid.”

        The whining and complaining is not about “not getting laid” it’s about doing whatever is in their power TO get laid, and not getting laid.

        How much effort, time and money do you think it sufficient for the average guy to put in to get significant change in his sex life? 1 year? 3 years? 5? 1 grand ? 5 grand? 10 grand?

        The frustration and “feeling of being owed” comes from spending this level of effort and not getting results.

        “Indeed. I couldn’t agree more.”

        And do you honestly think the way the western dating system is set up, that men and women have an equal chance at sexual experience?

        Do you think an average guy and say, this girl, http://www.godofstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/pics_girls-hot-blonde-with-cleavage.jpg

        have an equal opportunity to get sex?

        Look at it this way, how do women attract men initially, by looking “hot” and making them horny. What’s the male equivalent? to hear these coaches, it’s “confidence” or “authenticity” or something else that really isn’t quite definable (or at least has a different interpretation given a different context)

  3. Real SKW:

    “No one thinks that…”

    Oh you bet they do. They may not explicitly say “I am entitled to sex,” but that belief is betrayed by their other words/ arguments/ actions.

    On the female side, we see the same thing with many women believing they are entitled to relationships with their very own Prince Charming.

    “The frustration and “feeling of being owed” comes from spending this level of effort and not getting results.”

    Genuine frustration is different from feeling entitled. The feeling of being “owed” is still there. It is this transactional model of sex that is precisely the problem.

    Whether you think you are “owed” after just walking up to her and saying hi, or after spending money on dinners and taking her out for a month, the fundamental assumption is the same: I did this, so I am owed that.

    In the workforce, it makes sense: I worked 10 hours, so I am owed $500 by my employer. Fair enough. That’s what the contract said.

    But what “contract” is our hypothetical frustrated guy working with vis-à-vis sex and intimacy? Maybe he was misinformed by pop culture, maybe he’s just pulling it out of his ass. Whatever the cause of this faulty mindset, the point is that the mindset is indeed faulty and needs to change.

    (Again, I have no problem with frustration/ exhaustion after working hard and failing–that’s part of life. But that’s different from this big moral and ethical thing about “justice” and “entitlements.”)

    “And do you honestly think the way the western dating system is set up, that men and women have an equal chance at sexual experience?”

    In general yes. Men and women play different roles in the game, but that does not mean one necessarily has an advantage over the other.

    (Regarding that picture of the hot girl, I am writing a post addressing that argument specifically that I will put up soon.)

  4. “Sex is a reward given to you by the universe for putting in the time and effort into bettering yourself.”

    See that up there ladies? That’s just another way of saying sex is a right. A reward given…..means at some point you are entitled to sex. All this guy here is doing is playing the right sound bites that he knows will makes him sound and look legit and kosher. And makes money at the same time. The biggest misogynists are the guys saying stuff like this.

    • It’s too bad you are so mistrusting of others. You seem to assume the worst.

      You’re wrong anyway. The “biggest misogynists” would say the exact opposite: that a man has a right to sex.

      There’s nothing wrong with making money from educating people and helping them improve their lives.

  5. What you call “bettering yourself” I call “conforming to society’s expectations.” I will not change for anyone or anything. If that means I never have sex again, so be it, I don’t particularly enjoy it anyway.

  6. “Sex is a reward given to you by the universe for putting in the time and effort into bettering yourself.”, yes, but how does that also apply to the good looking, young attractive women?

    • There are actually very, very few women that are truly born perfect. Probably less than 1% of the female population. Almost all really hot women you see get there through some kind of effort–it might be diet and exercise, it might be dressing in a really sexy outfit, it might be lots of spa trips and skin creams, whatever.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: