Is it only assholes that get anywhere with women? Nope. You can be a decent, normal human being while still having sex with women. Here are three major things to understand about attraction and assholes.
You don’t have to be an asshole to get laid, or to be sexually attractive to women.
A lot of guys assume that they have to mistreat women in order to have sex with them. They believe that women only respond to men who put them down, insult them, abuse them emotionally, or talk about them in derogatory terms.
Do some women respond to this? Sure. You can find some woman, somewhere, who will respond to just about anything.
But it tends to be a very specific kind of girl. A girl who does not have very high self-esteem. If you think you have to treat women like shit to get them in bed, then you will either attract these kinds of women, or attract no one because you won’t want to play that game.
Instead, look for high-value men who are sexy and attractive to women, who are dominant, powerful and go after what they want, but who are still respectful, courteous, and fundamentally good. Use these men as your models for effective behavior, not the assholes.
Every woman is not, and never will be, sexually attracted to you.
Ironically, this is a very liberating thing to realize. You can be confident that you are attractive and desirable in a general sense, without expecting every single girl you approach to fall in love with you.
Some women will find you repulsive. And some women will find you irresistible.
A good portion of asshole behavior comes from guys not wanting to “let go,” and thinking that they are entitled on some level to have sex. They won’t take no for an answer, and end up pissing off every woman they talk with.
This is actually the path of greatest resistance: if this guy just cut his losses when it became clear she wasn’t interested, he could move on and meet more girls.
Asshole behavior often goes hand-in-hand with the belief that all women are the same. Therefore if one woman is into you, you assume all other women will be too. This is obviously absurd.
Many women are not interested at all, because each person has different preferences. And even for those who are interested, many are just not available (they already have a relationship, the logistics don’t work, their friends get in the way, whatever).
Churn and burn. It’s all part of the game.
Women want to get laid too, and sex does not have to happen in the traditional “dating” format.
The next myth is that only assholes can have casual sex or no-strings relationships. “Nice guys” go the route of traditional dating, committed relationships and monogamy.
The experiences of tons of PUAs and seducers around the world contradicts this. The reason a lot of assholes get the short-term casual flings is because they pursue it most aggressively.
The kind of guy who is very self-centered and doesn’t care about others is also often the guy who goes after sex when he wants it. But you can separate these two things.
Focus on developing the qualities that are sexually desirable to women: confidence, looking good, leadership, taking risks, emotional openness and honesty. Being insulting, uncouth, self-centered or demeaning towards others have nothing to do with any of those qualities.