Meeting Women from Foreign Cultures – Thoughts from Medellin, Colombia

I am writing this from a cafe in Medellin, Colombia. This is my first trip out of the US in a very long time. I’ve met a bunch of women just in the short time I’ve been here.

It’s been an interesting experience but has also reaffirmed a lot of what I already believed about the universals of attraction.

Following are some of my thoughts on meeting women in another culture.

The language.

If you don’t speak or are very weak in the local language, it can be a positive or negative. The obvious downside is that you have a harder time just having a normal conversation with a girl.

And various minor activities like ordering a drink at a bar or figuring out where is a good restaurant nearby, become difficult and draining tasks that take a lot of time and can kill your fun vibe with a girl.

On the other hand, poor language skills can be a positive. It forces you to communicate more through body language, eye contact and your overall vibe, instead of relying on words (when it comes to sexual attraction, nonverbal communication is far more powerful than verbal).

And your difficulty with the local language can be charming. The fact that you are in a totally foreign setting demonstrates an appetite for risk and an inner confidence that most people just don’t have.

In my case, I speak decent Spanish so I’ve been able to have entire dates with girls completely in Spanish. I’ve seen other guys have a much harder time.

Hot women are hot women.

I was very interested to see if white Americans had some kind of an “edge” in meeting/ dating these hot latinas.

In general being a white North American does carry a certain status in Latin America, but not enough to make up for significant deficiencies in other areas.

So, sorry all you massively overweight white guys who dress like shit, smell like shit, and have a negative attitude about life. Save for hookers, sugar babies or really desperate girls from the poor countryside (which is to say, sugar babies), you’re not finding companionship here.

Medellin, for example, is a big city with a huge youthful demographic, and a dynamic nightlife. People dress with style, present themselves well, and are willing to spend money on drinks and dinners. It’s a city that is very Latin, but with a cosmopolitan edge.

If you come to a place like Medellin, you will occasionally see gringo slobs with voluptuous babes in tight skirts. If your gut tells you these are prostitutes or sugar babies, you’re not wrong in most cases.

The massive differential in cost of living (and in the prices of prostitutes) makes sex tourism irresistible to a lot of guys that get no love from women back home.

But what about genuine attraction? Well, it’s not much different than anywhere else: average guys tend to be with average girls, and hot girls have lots of choice, and tend to choose the best they can get.

This is true whether your definition of “hot” is a skinny runway model or a hip-hop video vixen. Whatever you like, there are plenty of other guys that have the same preference. Which means that girl has choice.

The only twist is that “average” means something different in Latin America or Europe.

The average woman in these countries is of a decent weight and size (i.e. she actually has an “average” body for a healthy human female), whereas the average, or typical, person in the US is overweight or obese.

This unfortunate fact of North American life makes foreign women look incredibly beautiful in comparison, but it’s really just a case of skewed perspective.

But basically, hot women are hot women everywhere. They like confidence, boldness, social intelligence, and everything else we know and love.

And in the same way, hot men are hot men: a man who is attractive or high-value in one context, will enjoy female attention elsewhere.

You’ll rarely see a mega pimp with tight game in one city be a total dud in another.

Flakes are a fact of life.

Some girls follow through with plans, and some flake. It’s no different here than in New York or any other city.

Likewise, some girls will love you and be super attracted to you, and others will think you’re ugly or weird.

Some girls want quick sex, and some want to go on lots of dates. Some are looking for friends, and some are looking for a husband. Same as anywhere else.

Your attitude makes all the difference.

I’ve met and dated many women from cultures not my own, on this trip, on previous trips, and just naturally living in New York City for years.

I’m able to do this successfully because I have a different attitude about them compared to lots of other guys. I’m very open-minded and accepting of people as a rule of thumb.

You can either see foreign women as strange, exotic, alien creatures that you can’t relate to, or you can see them as people who have the same thoughts and feelings and life experiences that everyone has.

This is true whether she is a visitor in your country, or you have traveled to her country.

One thing I’m always able to do is cut through the superficial differences that seem to divide people and connect with a girl on a more personal level.

Our cultural, linguistic or even religious differences become interesting topics of conversation, not obstacles to attraction. In fact they often increase attraction, because of the novelty and even taboo nature of it.

4 thoughts on “Meeting Women from Foreign Cultures – Thoughts from Medellin, Colombia

  1. Great post, Justin.

    I totally agree with what you said about language being a double edged sword. I have lived in China and Japan, and found that many girls find the lack of language skills charming at first, but it becomes much more difficult to sustain something if you try to move on to something more serious. If you’re looking for a long term girlfriend overseas, you should try to pick up your language skills to at least an intermediate level.

    For the most part, I agree about women being attracted to the same things everywhere, especially now that our society has become so globalized. More and more, most of us are starting to share the same values and culture as the world continues to get smaller.

    What I want to add to this is that there was a time in the not too distant past where it was easier for white guys to go overseas and find girls. I know this from firsthand experience. As recently as the middle part of last decade, I would say it was possible to go to places like East Asia be able to meet girls fairly easily, even if you didn’t possess all or most of the qualities of an attractive man. I certainly didn’t have any of these traits when I went overseas 10-15 years ago, yet I would get girls, “average” by Asian standards, but “above average” by American ones, approaching me and asking me for my number within 2 minutes of conversation. I think being white certainly gave one a few “bonus points” back then.

    Having said that, you need to remember that even as recently as a decade ago, it was pretty rare to see a lot of white people in East Asia, so you had that “exotic” factor to them that they weren’t used to. It was almost like you had the quality of a rare gem, and rarity and uniqueness naturally increase one’s value, so even if you were a totally clueless white guy like I was, you still had decent chances by playing the “exotic” game.

    To put it bluntly; you can’t do that anymore. Nowadays white guys, black guys, Latin guys etc. are everywhere in Asia, and you are no longer the exotic gem that you once were. You cannot rely on your nationality any perceived status that it may or may not bring if you want to be successful overseas. If my clueless self went back to China or Japan in 2015 and stated out now, I would not have any success. As Justin says, you need to develop the universally attractive qualities no matter where you go. Don’t listen to those old time expats who tell you going overseas is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel when it comes to meeting women. These guys had their “success” in a much different time and under different circumstances. Things have changed. If you are not being successful where you live now, chances are you won’t be successful anywhere else. Work on yourself, stay positive, and be the best you can be.

    • Good thoughts. I think you’re on to several things. Like you said, there’s more ethnic diversity than there used to be in those places. Also the people (and thus women) are wealthier so just being an exotic western guy alone is not as powerful as it once was/ doesn’t carry as much status on its own. Unless, again, you go to some backward impoverished area in the countryside. But as far as the big cities, different story.

      And you touched on the skewed perspective issue. And even aside from that, just seeing foreign faces that one is not used to seeing, one does not have as much experience with them to say what is “average” versus “beautiful” and so on. One’s palate is not as refined in other words.

  2. You are a moron. I live in Medellin and your cheap, egotistical and degrading attitude further exemplify why you should take a slice (or in your case) the entire humble pie. No wonder you are alone.

    • Haha, always a strong argument when the best you can muster is insults and personal attacks. Pathetic. Not even sure what you have a problem with, or why you’re getting so emotional.

      And… where did you get the idea I was alone? Lol.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: