I’ve successfully met plenty of women from the New York subway. Here are some key tactics to make it work.
1. Contact info
Have business cards or contact cards ready for quick exchanges. You won’t have to worry about wasting time typing in her number, getting it wrong, retyping, etc, before the doors close and you never see her again.
You also don’t have to worry about getting the wrong number and discovering it half an hour later when you’re above ground and have a phone signal again.
I’ve even had a few instances where I typed in a girl’s number, pressed the wrong key, and then lost it. A good potential lead gone because of a simple mistake.
Give her your card, and you know she has the right number. You can also take her business card if she has one.
If you won’t use cards, then be ready to whip out your phone and type quickly with precision.
2. Plan the conversation
Don’t dilly-dally and let the conversation stagnate. You simply don’t have the luxury of taking your time on the subway.
Nor can you get into certain conversation material you normally would–like more flirting, or building deeper rapport and connection. That stuff is going to have to wait until you see her again.
Instead, focus on hitting a few key milestones in the conversation. Such as a compliment or two, basic info about her and about yourself (where you live, what you do), and maintaining a confident, positive demeanor.
Cover this stuff quickly and smoothly before you or she has to leave.
And remember to give yourself some extra time to exchange contact info at the end.
3. Take instant date opportunities
Strike while the iron is hot. If she’s into you and the conversation is going really well, she’s available, you’re available, then why not suggest getting a coffee or a drink at a place nearby?
You’re already in transit, so if you know of a place near one of the subway stations on your route, this is a perfect opportunity.
4. Go when the trains are not packed
Certain times of the day are better than others.
Rush hour, for example, is not the best time to meet women in the subway. In the middle of the day, or later evening after rush hour, are better.
Friday and Saturday nights are good too, because people are in a social mood, they’re excited about the night ahead, and they are getting pumped up for wherever they’re going.
Late night on the weekends (roughly 1:00 AM to 6:00 AM) is a gamble, but you would be surprised what you can find in those hours.
Although women are tired and they’re coming home from a night of partying, they are often very warmed up from social interaction all night, and from alcohol.
You don’t have to compete with loud music, crowds, or other distractions. You might meet some really interesting women that you wouldn’t normally meet. And you have many minutes in between trains, giving you that much more time to talk and connect.
5. Take advantage of quiet times on the platforms
Try to time your approach so that there’s plenty of time before the next train comes.
When the trains come, it gets so loud it’s really tough to talk or hear anything. So that interrupts the flow of conversation.
Let the train pass in the tunnel, then walk over and start the conversation.
In the late night, one positive is that the trains are spaced well apart (often 10 to 20 minutes), so you have tons of time to have a conversation and get to know someone new.
Meeting women on the subway
The New York subway is gritty, dirty and harsh. It can feel quite alienating and dark, literally and figuratively.
If you have warm, positive energy as you approach a woman, and you are dressed well and presenting yourself well, you are offering a perfect contrast to this cold, sterile environment. You can be like a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise dingy commute.
People look at each other a lot on the platform and in the trains but they never talk to each other. You know they are wondering about each other, but can’t bring themselves to actually say anything.
Being the guy with the confidence to actually smile and say hello to a stranger is a great way to stand out.