How to Talk to Busy Women in New York City

talking to busy women in nyc

In a city where everyone is busy with work, friends and countless social events, it can be hard to stand out. I’ve noticed that the very attractive women also tend to be busy women in NYC.

Prepare yourself to meet an attractive woman who might be rushing between meetings, running late for class, or going to a bar to meet friends.

Stand out in a positive way

Notice I said “positive.” That means no strange tics or antisocial behaviors. Think of what your personality strengths are, and how you can communicate those quickly on a first impression.

It could be your intelligence or quick wit. It could be your calming presence. Maybe you’re a high energy go-getter, or maybe you’re a super chill guy.

Also think about your physical attributes. Maybe you’ve invested a lot in your body and you’re the biggest guy in the room. Maybe people always say you have nice eyes, or great hair. If you have a foreign accent, play that up and don’t be afraid to let her hear it.

You definitely want to dress well, whatever that means for your particular style or image–corporate, urban, hipster, fashionable, baller, whatever.

The more you can create an image that is unique and different, the more you will stand out and get her attention. You don’t want to just blend in with every other guy trying to talk to her.

Cut to the chase

This requires you to know what you want. Few busy women want to have their time wasted. They want to know who you are, what you’re all about, and what you want. A guy who dilly-dallies out of nervousness or hesitancy is just shooting himself in the foot.

It’s better to express yourself and let her decide if she’s interested or not. Because if she’s not interested, she will let you know sooner or later. So why waste time?

If you are looking for quick sex, then get sexual with her. Start flirting, give her physical compliments, and ask her out for an instant date or to hang out soon.

If you are looking for a serious girlfriend, then see if you can express your personality and learn something substantive about her. Build some rapport with her, try to elicit some emotional connection.

The same idea applies no matter what you’re looking for with women.

The quicker you can do this, in a strong, confident way that puts your best foot forward, the more efficient you will be.

Minimize hesitation

It’s a common tendency to hesitate before going after what we want. I’ve noticed that New York women can forgive a lot, but hesitancy is not something they tolerate for very long.

Seek to cut down on your hesitation at all stages. Approach her as soon as you notice her. Say something. A hello, a compliment, an ask for directions, anything to get moving and get the conversation started.

Most guys are constantly hesitating, and it’s very frustrating for the women. Women aren’t going to scream at you or throw a drink in your face if they’re looking for something different. But you will annoy the hell out of them if you can’t just express your desires.

Hesitation is an unattractive quality in itself. Busy women will be drawn to a guy who knows what he wants, and isn’t afraid to go after it. That’s a guy who will get their attention and differentiate himself from other guys who are stuck in that nebulous grey zone.

Be ready to carry the conversation for the first minute

This is something I always tell my clients. You have to remember, she’s living her life, she was not expecting a guy to approach her (unless it’s in a really obvious social place like a singles bar). So her mind is elsewhere.

If you just start with “Hey” or a compliment and leave it at that, it will fizzle out quickly.

Instead be prepared to say things to her to get the conversation rolling. Come up with a few statements, a story or two, and some interesting things to share from your day today or your week.

A girl who is interested in chatting with you might be shy, she might be taken by surprise, whatever. At some point you can tell if she’s just warming up, or if she’s just not interested. In which case you can walk away and move on to the next girl.

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